Cupid, Fix Your Aim

I'm rolling my eyes while saying this, but Happy Valentine's Day, people. Ya yaaaa...I sound salty AF but not for the reasons you hastily established in your head, so calm down and stop being so quick to jump the gun. Simply put, I am not a fan of anything over-commercialized and I personally think Valentine's Day is extremely commercial and kind of silly. To me ...

Disclaimer: I am not saying that I'm right...but this is MY blog, let's remember that and these are my opinions. Let's live in a world where we can be receptive of others and their thoughts in hopes to expand our own perspective in life. Deal? Deal. Also there's a point to this, so hold the skepticism for a minute, grab one of the chocolates you got today and read on.

Okay, so to me...once something becomes commercial, it is stripped of all organic-ness (is that a word?) and as a result, it becomes cliché and mundane. Don't get me wrong, I, despite being a cynic, love seeing love buttttttt that's not the point of this. Anyway, this anti-Valentine's Day rant is a huge tangent that I somehow fell into, so let me gather my thoughts while crawling out of this and get back to my main point.

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Alright, we can all finally agree on something and it is that Valentine's Day is an affirmation to show certain people we care about them (Wow, look at you no longer viewing me as Satan's spawn). We use this holiday to express love with gifts and cards created solely to represent that gesture (Examples: HEART SHAPED EVERYTHING...red roses... warm fuzzy lovey teddy bears ... red boxes... red... pink.... red...pinkkkkkkk...ok you get it). One thing I question though is, what day do we affirm love for ourselves? In our world today, between the social, familial and work obligations we have, I think a lot of us tend to lose sight of ourselves. If you lose sight of something, it is neglected, correct? And if it is neglected, it dwindles away, correct? Side note: That's 2/3 on agreeing *high five*. If we do not know how to love ourselves, to love the soul that has literally been with us since day one, what right do we have to love others? Mark Groves, a brilliant relationship coach explains that, "Self-love is about recognizing that we cannot ask of others what we cannot be ourselves."

So how do we do that? How do we love ourselves? We all have insecurities, we've all been hurt in some way or have had something happen in our lives that tipped the equilibrium, setting us off balance. That's the first thing to address; you cannot build a wall on shaky grounds so know your grounds, know yourself, understand your thoughts and feelings. We are made of fragments - not just literally but figuratively speaking and only by familiarizing ourselves with those fragments can we recognize when one isn't sturdy. What's the point of solid ground with shaky walls. This recognition should serve as a constant reminder to do the things that make you feel whole, accept the parts of you that make you you. These fragments are essential pieces to your being so be kind to them, be forgiving, treat them with love. I mean, seriously, stop scrutinizing and beating yourself up. The definition of "perfect" ceases to exist and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Take that on any level, there is no such thing as a perfect parent, so don't feel guilty for spending ten extra minutes drinking your coffee peacefully. Love yourself. Performing at a 100% every day on the account of no sleep is not a necessity. Love yourself. You are entitled to self indulge. Love yourself. Thigh gaps are not genetically realistic for everyone. Love yourself. That person who broke your heart does not reflect your value. Love yourself. You failed at something, it's okay to try again. Your painting is good enough, you are an artist, you are a musician, you are straight, you are gay, you are talented, you are smart, you are funny, you are you and that will forever be enough.

I recently had a conversation with a friend where we discussed the innocence that children have, they simply do not know what it means to be negative towards themselves and because of that, they know no boundaries on any level and as a result, they feel whole. Guys, there is no clear-cut instruction guide to life, so create a blueprint for yourself that makes you feel whole every day or just toss it entirely and play it by ear. Establish your own playing field instead of living on others'. So once again, here's my advice (whether you asked for it or not), love yourself. Love every bit of yourself and do not let society dictate or define you; do not let the inauthenticity that you are surrounded with tell you that you are not good enough. Know your self and by doing that you will appreciate your self worth and once you are able to fully believe in it, you will find a fullness in you that cannot be touched, it cannot be broken or stripped away. When you love yourself, you are letting others know you are worth loving and no one can take that from you. Commercial holidays just tend to brush that aside because it does not produce revenue. In the meantime, love on, and I hope your day is filled with all the cheesy glorious shit that Hallmark has to offer.

Xoxoxooo (Finger gun to the head),

Natalie

PS: To my sister @MamaLaurice (Check out her IG parenting blog), I love you, thank you for the beautiful flowers you sent me at work. I literally just received them as I was wrapping up this blog post and my assistant was telling me, "Well, my daughters made you a card but I forgot it at home but now I feel bad because you're probably not going to get anything." You have impeccable timing.