F The Double Standards
Lets start with my disclaimers that you all love oh so much!
Disclaimer: I under-exaggerated/edited the living sh*t out of this story for the sake of my privacy.
Alright, now that that's out of the way, here we go. I will be the first to embarrassingly admit that I never understood the passion behind “Feminism.” I thought the Women's March was quite ridiculous especially after seeing that lady in a vagina costume (Seriously...what the fu#k). Like many others, I misinterpreted feminism as an outlet for women to complain, to justify their disappointments in life…a way to deflect their own responsibilities and blame society for their frustrations. Don’t get me wrong, I'm not anti-woman. I have always had a firm belief that women are badasses - I mean, the biggest badass I know in this life is my own mother and I will forever be in awe of every minuscule thing about her. However, with that said, I never experienced a situation that shook me at my core enough to make me resent gender roles and make me really understand the fuel that so strongly ignited people’s belief in Feminism.
Well, recently, that all changed. In a nutshell, someone expressed interest in me and the way he went about it made me a bit uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure this guy is mildly stalking me...I am kidding (kind of)...and yes, I may sign up for self defense classes. Rule #1: Kick him where the sun don't shine?? Anyway, minus the stalking, this is not the first time this happens and I am well aware that it won’t be the last. No, I am not saying “OMG look at me, I’m so hot.” Relax, this isn’t about narcism- I’m just saying, this stuff happens, people find others’ attractive, etc. Anyway, I discussed the situation with a friend, knowing he'd be on my side. BUT BOYYYYYY was I wrong! In summary, his conclusion to me was, “This is your fault. You are too personable. By being the way you are, you basically led him on.” Wait- what?! WHAT. Hold on…let me reel my jaw off the ground and get this straight, so because I am personable, that gives a guy the right to scare the living hell out of me? Needless to say, I was livid. If you know me the least bit, you know I verbally swung back in defense.
I wasn’t upset because of what was said to me, but because of the principle behind it. You might think, it’s just someones’ opinion. Who cares? Why does it matter? It’s not just one person’s opinion though. I care. It does matter. It matters because I know damn well that I carry myself with integrity and in no way have I opened any doors to invite this guy in. His actions are completely unjustified. So for someone to blame me for this situation just blew my mind. And honestly people, it REALLY takes a lot to blow my mind and make me bat an eyelash (BTW, shoutout to Tina, my lash tech & to the makers of Latisse).
In this situation, all I could think was the double standards of society. If a male was put in this situation with a female, then she would be called a “stalker,” or “psycho.” Guys would swap stories and say, “Ya dude, that happened to me before, she was insane," blah blaaaaah blah...boys *insert eye roll*. Yet because I am a female, it's my fault? It was a serious kick in the ovaries. But that’s when I was able to unclench my "Arthur fist," grab a gallon and drench myself in an infinite amount of fuel to ignite my new found passion for feminism, for girl power, for equality, for our rights.
Because gender inequality is real. Because the gender gap is a thing. Because glass ceilings do exist. Because some things are acceptable for males but not for females. Because the phrase, “You run like a girl” still exists. And because we get labeled as whores or sluts if too much skin is showing. Yet if not enough skin is showing, then we are labeled as prudes. Because we live in a society that teaches women to be cautious of their surroundings instead of teaching men not to create those types of surroundings for women. Because cat-calling is stupidly perceived as a compliment. Because it’s okay for a guy to have a laundry list of dating history but a girl gets a scarlet letter if she does. Because there is more to being a good partner than knowing how to hold a spatula. Because the unrealistic standards of beauty that are placed on young women. Because time and time again, we are questioned and belittled on the basis of our gender. Quite frankly it's not okay and by no means should this be the norm that we accept in the 21st century.
So, ya, I guess I am a feminist. I believe in the power of women, I believe that being a female is one of the baddest ass things you can be. Own it. Embrace it. & dammit, you fight for it.
Happy International Women’s Day, my baddies!
