The Power of Vulnerability

"Both soft and fierce can coexist and still be powerful."-@iAmHerTribe

Let that quote sink in because it deserves a moment. Okay...moment over. Now that I've shared one of my favorite quotes with you, I will explain why it's one of my favorites. Well, simply because it serves as a constant reminder to balance both sides of myself, to like them equally, to allow each to live freely and fluidly in its' space. What I've come to realize though is that my fierceness tends to trump my softness. However, I only have myself to blame for that because I conditioned life to bring out my bold side and dim my softness.

If you are ever lucky enough to have a conversation with me (FULL BLOWN SARCASM HERE), you'll quickly learn that I thrive on self-improvement, expanding your knowledge, bettering your mind, body and soul every single day. You'll hear me cheer you on to do more in your life, to explore more, to get lost in travel, to eat well, to say yes to the adventures & fall in love with yourself and your life every moment you are breathing. I will reiterate how important balance is and that moderation is key. I will tell you that every thing has significance and serves as an essential building block to this epic person you have an endless ability to transform into. You'll see that I am a firm believer in everyone's journey, in everyone's story. Experiences we go through, despite how different they are, they are laced with a thread of similarity. Those similarities are what ties us humans together and gives us the power of empathy.

I guess I should explain how I began this mantra of self betterment & since vulnerability is the focus, I will bare a tidbit of my soul to the internet (Scary- it's not a selfie, I know). A few years ago, I was slammed with what I like to call my "Deadly Trio"- there were 3 tsunamis in my life that all hit at once (because when it rains it pours...badum tss) & well, they wiped me clean of everything that I was as an individual. From then on, I started sweeping the debris while grasping all the things that helped me recognize myself. After I collected all the pieces worth reassembling & deciding which ones I needed to just simply forego, I felt whole again but being whole was no longer enough, now I wanted to feel fuller. As a result, I became obsessed with the idea that life has this endless magnitude of things to offer. So there started my journey to tirelessly pursue life, to get out of it as much as I could and give back the equivalence.

When I say that for two years, I have managed to fill almost every minute of my life with something, I am not exaggerating. If you need proof, look at my iCalendar. It's intense. Ridiculously intense. My friends constantly tell me that I am insane, that I need to slow down and that I cannot keep trying to squeeze every ounce of life from this universe. Sorry guys, you know I haven't listened to you, you know that I still wake up way earlier than I need to so that I can get to the gym, and although I drive an hour to work, I listen to podcasts about things that broaden my mind and thought process (Check out TED Radio Hour, The Minimalists, The Love U Podcast with Evan Marc Katz), and at work, if I'm not treating patients, I am working on my writing, reading books (Check out 5 Languages of Love, The Alchemist, The Tipping Point) or multi-tasking other business obligations, all while still making time to talk to all of my friends, going to events, traveling, volunteering at church and spending time with my family. If I have a minute to myself and it's not being spent pining over Jon Snow, then I'm adding more items to a Bucket List that easily requires 5 lifetimes to fullfill. So when I tell you I am all over the place... I AM ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I like it that way. It's easy. It's productive. It's distracting. Being busy has become a shield that I hide behind...maybe even a defense mechanism. But that's no way to live is it? If you're that busy, if your life is that "full", how do you make room for things that are trying to wedge their way in? Do you? I know I don't. By moving so fast, I have no time to feel certain things- to feel soft, to feel vulnerable. I use my independence for self-empowerment & pride myself in the idea that "I could do everything on my own"- it's fierce, it's powerful. It is...debilitating. What I failed to realize was that, we, as humans cannot selectively numb emotions such as being vulnerable, hurt or scared, so somewhere in the mix of that, we probably numb moments of happiness or joy. In return, people (like me) start looking for more ways to madly fill their life over and over. It's a vicious cycle. People struggle to grasp the idea that nothing is certain, that difficult conversations are okay, that imperfections are okay, and some days, feeling incomplete is actually okay. These things are all real. They're soft. They're raw. They give room for love from others and yourself, they create space for gratitude and happiness even in the moments of fear. Vulnerability allows us to appreciate others, tests us to believe in something passionately instead of catastrophizing it. Being vulnerable allows you to believe you are enough, you're kinder as a result of that. So here's to the power of vulnerability, the power to feel, to get hurt, to apologize, to accept the uncertainty, and to accept that you're scared but you do something anyway. Here's to letting fear meet courage. But mostly, here's to finding that balance where both sides of us (fierce & soft) coexist because in unity, they are strikingly more powerful than each on its' own.