My 30: Debunked.
Adulting is rough.
I mean that statement quite literally. Think about it, when you were a kid- you were mandatorily taken care of in the best way possible. Your parents made you go to school, forced you to do your homework to succeed, chased you down with a spoon to make sure you were fed. & then, before you even realize it, you're an adult doing adult things. & I don't mean "Oh hey I'm 18, legally- I'm an adult," I am sorry, but at 18 there's a strong chance that you are still a form of a child. I guess being an "adult" really has no definitive age but more of a definitive lifestyle. You are independently making decisions on your own, or hopefully with little influence. You are financially responsible for yourself & the things you want. Most importantly, it means taking accountability for your life.
As many of you know, I am a dentist. With that said, it means I had a lot of schooling - a lot. Being a student, personally, always made me feel that I was in a sheltered environment, I was still under the guidance of others and my only real responsibility was succeeding in school. Afterwards, I worked in practices as an employee and not as an owner. I bring this up because I never really felt like an adult until I turned 30.
30 was a loaded year. To name a few things, I purchased my own practice, I began planning my wedding and I was searching for a home with my fiancé. *insert money flying emoji here* As a result, I put aside things I love like traveling and writing and instead worked 60+ hours a week. It was the year that I couldn't hang past 11PM. Ask my friends, the yawns were quite the sight. Basically, this year was the one where I genuinely felt like an adult. Late bloomer, I know.
As the owner of a small business, I VERY quickly learned that there are constant problems and issues that occur. While putting out fires, I was building an incredible team and we were all learning to work together to create something great. I went through so many ups and downs emotionally and really battled within myself at times, wondering if this was a good decision (I now know that it was a great one). Besides being accountable for my patients' treatment, I was the one everyone went to when things went wrong. I had to make the decision to hire and fire people. The firing part was probably the worst, lot of tears...lot of ugly Kim K tears. Being the owner also meant, you are to ensure that the business is doing well so that you can pay your employees, your vendors, your overhead & yourself. Stress aside, it was humbling to see how many friends and family members stood by me during this time, registered to be patients, referred patients or simply sent me words of encouragement; it allowed me to appreciate so many people in my life, people that I'm not necessarily close to and some who I am very much close to. This phase of my life gave me an opportunity to celebrate the love I received.
Speaking of celebrating, let's dive into weddings. Ok, planning a wedding can be fun if you allow it to be, but it's also hella expensive, hella hectic and hella time consuming. Whoever said it's "all about you, it's your big day," is a huge liar. Weddings are kinda sorta about everyone else, you just happen to be the bride and groom. With that said, if you don't take control, you'll cry more ugly Kim K tears trying to appease everyone. I won't go into detail but I'll leave you with this, if you can do a destination wedding, do it (slightly kidding)! Oh and tell everyone to F off when they start telling you how it should be done or when they upset you over a decision you've made. You are getting married, you're choosing to commit yourself to someone else for hopefully the rest of your life. That is huge and very adultish, and anyone who shows the least bit of support is not worth your time.
Finally, house searching. What a nightmare. Elias and I must've looked at 20+ houses and honestly, it gets old really quick. This house smells like 5 dogs urinated all over it, while that one has masked insane flooding with horrible paint jobs. It was discouraging and scary because it came with another huge price tag. We wanted it to be perfect, encompassing the idea that this is a starter home but this is the starter home of two individuals who have worked really hard for what they have achieved. After months of searching, we have something in the works & are praying it all works out this summer & we get to call it ours. Hello, mortgage payments!
So for me, 30 was loaded with stress, it was exhausting. It was also exhilarating in its' own way; it was the year I did everything with my fiancé and because of that I appreciated him more than anything. Our relationship grew and while transitioning a little out of that "Honeymoon" phase, we slipped into a "We're in this together" phase & it gave me all the reassurance I could've ever needed that him and I will do life together and do it well. I understand the value in sacrifice now and things not being all about me. I learned to make BIG decisions and own up to them and the responsibility that comes with them. This year also forced me to unintentionally step back from social media and because of that, I stopped slipping into the habit of publicizing my life for the approval of others and the instant gratification that comes with it. I loved this year. I hated this year. I think I grew up this year.
